What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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I love alchohol!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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