A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Asian NASCAR.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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