Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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Libraries.

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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minorities

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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