What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

Knock knock, come in.

Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

thumbs up!

Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

Why did the baby die? It got shot.

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

Rebecca Black's new album.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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