"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

thumb_up thumb_down -141

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

thumb_up thumb_down -149

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops