Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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