Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops