What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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asdasdasdasd

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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