What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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batman has diarrhea

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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