Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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