A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops