Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

why did justin go to maddie parris house to fuck her.....

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

I named my son ps2 controller

The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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