Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

its funny cuz i laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

RUN

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops