Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Guest what? Dog

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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