How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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a man walks into a bar with a monkey i forgot the rest of the joke your moms a whore

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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i just wrote this so hard

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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