A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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