What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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Thats what she said

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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