What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Animal

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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