Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

Yo Mamma

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

My wife has terminal cancer.

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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