Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Who's fat? Holly Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops