Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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Your mother is so fat.

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i did ur mom lol. thats the joke. : )

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops