a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

charlie sheen

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

You having friends.

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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