A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Irish sobriety

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops