why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops