The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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One, two, three, four and five

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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