What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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black people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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