Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

Vote this up

whats black and large -me

Homo say what?

What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

I had a really great joke to tell you!

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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