knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

The WNBA

how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

what happened to your carpool? they died.

Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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