How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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