Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Religionh

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean????? What Nothing they just waved ???? Oh Do you sea what I did there ???? No I'm shore you did ???? By Erin

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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