An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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oh hey.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops