A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

Asians.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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