Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Twinkle Twinkle little wh**e close youre legs youre not a door. youre gonna get an S,T,D, youree only wanted cause youre free... Twinkle Twinkle little Wh**e youre cheeper then the dollar store

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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Granny porn!

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops