Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops