I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Penis chickens

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Ron Paul for President!

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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