If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

thumb_up thumb_down +3

wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops