hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Horse.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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