What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

thumb_up thumb_down

get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

thumb_up thumb_down

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

thumb_up thumb_down

You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

thumb_up thumb_down

What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

thumb_up thumb_down

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down

I forgot what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops