How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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