Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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