Asian women drivers...

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Tough crowd tonight...

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Justin Bieber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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