Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops