Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Women drivers...

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A whole 'nother.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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