What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Antijokes...

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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