- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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what are three short words? i a am

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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