An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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people magazine

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops