There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and a cow? Red cow

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops