knock knock

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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WILLYS

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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