A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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Chikin nuggets

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops