My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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