My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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so...um, yeah

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Justin Bieber.

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops