What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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women's rights

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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willam dafoe

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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