what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sarah Palin's political campaign

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's a joke? Funny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops