Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Womens Rights

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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